By Gwen Grigsby, LMFT & Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant
When I became a mom, I didn’t realize how profoundly sleep would impact everything–my mood, my healing, my ability to soak in those early moments, and how I showed up each day for myself, my baby, my husband, and the rest of my life. I quickly learned that healthy sleep habits don’t just fall into place–they require atttention, awareness, and a little guidance.
I had read the books. I had watched my sister and friends go through it. I thought I was ready. But much of what I learned about infant sleep came from lived experience: the long nights, the second-guessing, the dog-eared chapter on short naps and night wakings, the tears (hers and mine), and the slow, humbling process of learning to trust my instincts.
Now, as a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified pediatric sleep consultant, I help parents navigate this same season–ideally with more confidence, fewer late-night Google searches, and a whole lot more rest. Whether you’re expecting your first or adjusting to life with a newborn, here are eight things I wish someone had told me before I brought my baby home:
1. Newborns are biologically wired to wake frequently–and that’s okay.
Frequent waking isn’t a failure or something to fix in the early weeks–it’s completely normal and developmentally appropriate. Newborns wake often to feed, connect, and regulate their systems through proximity to you. This season is temporary, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Knowing that helped me shift from frustration to compassion, focusing on connection over control.
2. Day and night confusion is real.
Newborns aren’t born with a circadian rhythm–they don’t know day from night. To support their internal clock development, keep days bright and engaging, and nights calm and dark. For overnight feeds or diaper changes, use dim lighting, avoid stimulation, and keep things quiet to signal that it’s still sleep time.
3. Sleep begets sleep.
I used to think that skipping a nap or keeping her up longer would help her sleep better at night. The opposite is true: overtired babies have a harder time falling and staying asleep. Once we committed to consistent naps and an age-appropriate bedtime, everything changed. A well-rested baby sleeps more soundly–and so do you.
4. Babies learn to sleep how they practice.
If your baby always naps in the stroller or car, they’ll associate sleep with motion. If you want them to sleep in a bassinet or crib at night, they need chances to practice there during the day. Even one or two crib naps a day in the early months can help build lasting sleep habits.
5. Feeding and sleep go hand in hand.
Sleep and feeding are deeply connected. Following a simple “eat, play, sleep” schedule helped my baby get full feeds during wake windows and led to longer, more restful sleep. Frequent snacking can lead to shorter naps and more wakeups, while spacing feeds with play supports both digestion and sleep.
6. Sleep is a parent-led activity.
You can’t force your baby to sleep, but you can set the stage for it. A consistent bedtime routine, a dark and quiet sleep space, white noise, and awareness of wake windows go a long way. Once I learned how long my baby could comfortably stay awake, everything clicked–bedtime became smoother and fussiness decreased.
7. Sleep isn’t linear–regressions are part of the process.
Just when things seem to settle, a sleep regression can strike. These often coincide with developmental milestones like rolling, crawling, or new language skills. While exhausting, they’re a sign your baby is growing and changing. Most last a week or two, and staying consistent helps your routine bounce back more quickly.
8. Sleep training doesn’t have to mean “cry it out.”
There are many gentle, effective sleep strategies that don’t involve leaving your baby to cry alone. From gradual methods to parent-supported approaches, you can build healthy sleep habits that align with your values and your baby’s temperament. If you’re overwhelmed or unsure how to start, know that help is available–you don’t have to go it alone.
Need Support with Infant Sleep?
If you’re feeling exhausted, unsure, or just want to better understand how to support your baby’s sleep–you’re not alone. I’d love to help you feel more confident and rested:
🌙 Join my Newborn Sleep Class at The Pump Station – ideal for expecting and new parents building a strong sleep foundation. Enroll Here.
💤 Explore personalized support at www.thedreamteammethod.com
📩 Email me directly: gwen@thedreamteammethod.com
